hmseb on "Server load and MySql problem"

1-
/** MySQL hostname */
define('DB_HOST', 'localhost');

So this should be alright.

2- Regarding the memory, I see this in my slow query plugin: 256M Overridden at runtime from 512M

I'll try to figure this out, I don't know what overrides it...

3-Downtime is usually a few minutes, CPU spikes, MySQL server goes down and everything comes back up.